


Blackmail: You're Doing It Wrong

by B_eden



Series: You're Doing it Wrong: Severus/James Fanfics [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauder Era - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_eden/pseuds/B_eden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While alone at Hogwarts during a holiday break, Severus reflects over recent conversations/run-ins he's had with both Lily and Lucius. He then has to retreat to a regular hiding place to avoid trouble from some Slytherin students also at Hogwarts for the break. Poor Severus...James follows him and learns a bounty of dark information about the Slytherin. What will James do with this information, I wonder?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackmail: You're Doing It Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my fanfics then you may be interested in my male/male romance novels available now on amazon.com. If you like my style of writing then you will love my books under my pen name of Casper Crow.
> 
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> 
> Simply search Amazon.com for Casper Crow and one of my three novels: "Apprehension", "Appetite", or "Eyes of the Wilds".

Severus tugged the brand new green flannel pajama pants that Lucius Malfoy had given to him up to his hips before his emotional turmoil finally overcame him. He clutched his black T-shirt in one hand and leaned against one of his bed posters in an attempt to banish his anguish and gather himself once more.  
Life in the Slytherin common rooms had gotten considerably less dangerous, physically, since he’d accepted Lucius’ offer of friendship. Malfoy had quickly risen to a level of respect among the other Slytherin’s that left them hesitant to damage Severus in any way that might send him tattling to the young blonde.  
The private room, clothing that fit him, and protection were a few of the many perks that came with allying himself with a Malfoy. The pent-up rage his former attackers held to unleash on him during the breaks when Lucius went home and Severus did not, however, was only one of the downfalls. He looked over to his placid form in a mirror over his dresser, and his fingers unconsciously traced along the fading bruises on his face and collarbone that the rebellious Slytherin’s had been brave enough to decorate him with shortly after Lucius’ departure.  
He glanced toward the small window near the top of his bedroom that the higher positioning of he and Lucius’ room had given him just near the top of the dungeons. He dreaded the coming approach of the night. The darkness had only pain and terror in store for the raven-haired young man, for that was when the other students realized they were bored and began to plan out their evening activities that were sure to include getting to him in Lucius’ absence. He then glanced down at the dark mark singed into the flesh of his arm. He stifled a sob in the back of his throat as he remembered Lily’s eyes when she’d discovered his secret a few weeks before.  
“It’s true...” Her voice was void of emotion, and Severus could find no way to translate her true feelings.  
“We don’t touch people without their permission, Evans.” Severus yanked his arm from her grasp and tugged his sleeve back down to his knuckles.  
Her intense green eyes flashed with pain at his distant words and cold body language, but when he lifted his eyes to meet hers there was no hiding the affection he still held for her. He was becoming a master of apathy when confronted with every other soul in the world, but not with Lily.  
“Don’t you dare judge me for the decisions I make. Don’t look at me like that.” His voice was more gentle than he wanted to efficiently scare her away from him.  
“Like what?” She droned.  
His heart ached at how detached she had suddenly become.“Like you really believe there is such a thing as good and evil. Like you truly believe I’m some kind of monster and that Potter is a hero. He’s no saint, Lily.”  
A defensive cloud of anger rolled across her features. “James is a good man!”  
Severus didn’t glance around the dark hallway before forcing her back against the cold stone of the hallway and trapping her there with his pale hands clasped gently but firmly on her arms. “That’s a lie! If he was so perfect you’d have no interest in him at all, would you?” He hissed knowingly as a visible shiver of lust traveled across her entire body in response to his aggressive behavior. He tilted his head with interest and trained his dark orbs down at her until she sank down a few inches beneath him. The quickened pace of his breathing betrayed the dangerous longings he held for her so that it was easy to read him even behind the mask of indifference he was trying to force into place.  
Severus’ voice vibrated deeply as he continued. “He hurts people. He breaks every rule and every law that’s waved in front of his nose. He puts himself in harms way as often as he can, brining you along with him by openly expressing his obsession with you. And you love it, little fawn, don’t you? The rush you get when you’re in danger? You run headlong into the fire just to feel this.” He forced his knee between her legs and increased his pressure on her arms, causing her to mewl in protest. “You can’t even comprehend the peril you’re in at the moment for drinking down every second of the intoxication my bad intentions pour into your heart.”  
“S-Severus?” She swallowed heavily.  
The Slytherin shook his head lightly; eyes going colder. “No. Don’t change your position now. I’m not your friend, remember? There are good guys and bad guys in this world, if I recall correctly. That’s the impression you were giving me a moment ago. Isn’t that the way you want it? So easy to decipher? And if it’s true, if that’s how you’re going to divide the world, where do I stand in your definitions?”  
“I-I-”  
“Lost. That’s where. I’m lost and fallen, and you suddenly want to care. Where were you before? When I needed an angel to give me a reason to get back up you were siding with the very wizards that were creating the monster inside me. You abandoned your trust in me as if nothing we’ve been through in the past had ever meant anything in your heart. Did you expect mine not to ice over when you didn’t trust me? I tried to protect you from him!” He spat the last word in contempt as he thought of the torment Potter had put him through. “You kept speaking up for me, and I respect your stupid Gryffindor bravery, but it was clear you’d never have a chance against him anymore than I could save myself in a four-on-one aggressor situation. You wouldn’t run away, and you insisted on watching my humiliation. Of course I tried to drive you away every time by making you angry. Why didn’t you understand me? Why didn’t you catch on like the partners in crime we’d always been together before?”  
They breathed heavily for a time as she studied him pitifully. Then his eyes narrowed as he tried further to figure out what had gone wrong. “Did you like what they did to me? Is that why you turned to the very creature I was trying to save us from? Is it because he’s more cruel than I had proved to be when I first captured your attention?” His hopes of understanding the situation faded away quickly and he returned to his own self loathing. “No. It’s because there never really was an ‘us’ for me to protect. I was always alone. You made a fool of me. Is it because you want me to hate you?”  
“Severus, we were friends. I never meant to hurt you-”  
“We ‘were’ friends? If we were ever friends then I would still be dear to you-”  
“You are!” She screeched, causing the Slytherin’s breath to catch and a hint of apprehension to cross his eyes. Then she cringed as he tightened his grip on her as if he was having trouble containing his anger. She stammered before adding, “Why do you think I came here looking for you? I do care for you!”  
Severus quickly veiled any insecurities she was causing within him, and his darkness returned. Lily moaned quietly when he leaned down so that she could feel his lips against hers as he spoke. He mastered himself from becoming distracted when she unconsciously ground down against his leg. “Just not as much as you care for James? Tell me. Does he make you feel safe? Does he provide you with the security society tells you you’re supposed to crave?”  
“I’m not worried he’s going to become a Death Eater, if that’s what you mean.” She jabbed.  
“What I mean is would he love you no matter what choices you make? Is he selfish and unconditional where you’re concerned? Would he do anything to keep you, to feel you, to please you? If the world burns down around you will he turn on everything he stands for and scoop you up, kicking and screaming in protest, to make you survive? Or will he drag you down into the sacrificial pit with him?”  
“There are things worth fighting for, Severus! There are things worth dying for.” Lily pleaded with him to understand.  
“Yes, there are.” Severus shifted to look into her eyes. “And that’s the difference between us. The thing that ultimately broke us apart, little fawn.” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Your reasons for living, your reasons for smiling are concepts that rise and fall with the changes in the struggling tide of mankind since the beginning of time, and my heart beats for only one thing that is here with me now. Something I can see and touch and grasp. The most horrible truth here is that neither one of us are quite able to possess the object of our adoration,” He leaned back in toward her lips and she sucked in a sharp breath, “even when it appears that it is close enough for us to taste it.”  
She flushed more deeply when he dropped his leg back to the floor and the absence of the warmth there made her realize how responsive she’d been to his touch.“It doesn’t have to be this way, Severus.”  
He chuckled deeply and turned away from her, pushing himself away from the wall. “Don’t, Evans. If you don’t want me, don’t try and stir me into the mundane cauldron of Potter’s gullible Gryffindor groupies to try and make yourself believe my heart isn’t dead to humanity. There is no place for me if it’s not with you, and I’ll not live a self-sacrificing lie. If you’ve found true happiness with him, then take that for yourself, and never let anything take it from you. Not right or wrong or even the gods around us. Love means you’d do anything and everything to protect what you have; always, and that’s what I have here for you. No matter how frightening that might sound to you,” he continued as he backed away from her, slowly fading into the darkness of the hallway, “and you can chase the illusions your leaders are manipulating into your head, Lily, and you can let him touch you with tender constraint.” He spoke carefully “But when what you first thought was freedom finally begins to suffocate you, remember me, for I’ll never deny you, Lily. I won’t hold back from possessing you in every way that my twisted desires drive me to experience every inch of your body and your soul. Don’t let any imagined excuses stop you from walking away from your discontent. No matter how hardened my soul becomes, I will always be waiting for you.”  
He watched her for a time from the shadows as she clutched at her stomach and gulped in the air that she had been denying herself to appear more calm and collected. She wiped at a few tears, straightened her posture, lifted her chin, and walked out of his life. He logically knew this was the case, for if his words had reached her heart then she wouldn’t have been able to bare leaving the school grounds and putting the vast distance between them for the length of the break. Then again, he cursed his hope, for every year he assumed her failure to look at him and her neglect to come to him meant that he no longer meant anything to her, yet at some point she always managed to show up and make a fool of his heart all over again.  
Severus rested his head against the cool bed post and reminded himself that he was important now to many people. If not for his personality or his looks, it was enough that it was for his brain. His talents in potions rivaled those of many aged scholars, and he had a violent knack for coming up with rather nasty spells that he wished he had the opportunity to get away with aiming at all the different people who had victimized him throughout his life. This last gift of his was more of a secret between he and Lucius. He was grateful that the other Slytherin whispered praises in awe of his aggressive creations rather than judging or belittling him for them. It was this type of mutual trust between them that had led Lucius to trust him with a secret artifact that the dark lord had put in his care.  
“Severus,” he confided in quite excitement as he handed him the diary with blank pages, “The dark lord is exploring immortality. Do some research with that clever mind of yours. Let us work in secret and see if there’s a way for us to understand the secrets of eternity.”  
Severus arched a brow skeptically. “Lucius, you may find the idea of an endless life- span and appealing, but some of us are anxiously awaiting the final release that only the veil of death can provide. I would choose the aninimity of the grave over eternal power and worship. You know this.”  
“I do.” Lucius smirked in a friendly way. “That’s why I feel you’re safe to befriend sincerely.” He confided.  
Severus looked to his facial features to search him for honesty. His dark eyes widened when he realized that Lucius was being candid with him, and he swallowed heavily at the sudden realization that he somewhat had a single friend in the world.  
“Suicide?” Lucius suggested after a moment of processing Severus’ words over his distaste for his life.  
“Coward.” Severus explained simply and shamelessly, never varying the monotonous tone of his eternally disinterested voice.  
Lucius nodded his head in understanding. His expression was compassionate as he placed a hand on the raven-haired Slytherin’s shoulder. “Is there anything I can do to make things more bearable for you? A love potion? Maybe kill anyone in particular?”  
Severus’ lip twitched humorously as he shook his head to indicate there was nothing that could be done to remedy his situation that wasn’t already in affect. “You’re doing more than enough to make my life bearable, Lucius.” He lied politely.  
“Good.” Lucius sighed in relief and trained one of his most seductive expressions on the Slytherin across from him. “Now, are you going to nose around in the sorcery I’ve mentioned for me?”  
“Of course I am.” Severus slid the diary into his bag before shifting his attention back down to his homework.  
He was pulled from his reflections by the gentle sounds of someone trying to break past the magical locks on his bedroom door. He was confident that his locking charms were superior to any that the average student was aware of, but his fears of being cornered in the off-chance that he was wrong compelled him to tug his shirt over his head quickly, grab his bag, and sprint over to his desk. He climbed up onto the table and then onto the shelf he’d placed next to it as a make-shift ladder that would likely not be reflected over as such when wondering where Severus had disappeared to after he squirmed his thin frame out the small window overhead.  
The grass was cold on his hands and knees as he pushed himself to his bare feet. He looked around warily before shoving off into the shadows along the side of the castle until he finally came to a window mirroring his own that he had rigged to stay unlocked for his many escapes from the endless noises of the monsters trying to get to him. He wasted no time in sliding into the opening. He crashed to the ground when he lost his footing on the older, rotting shelf that he’d placed before hand to help his decent. The pale young man’s body groaned in protest as he climbed back up, but he assured himself that there wasn’t much farther to go to reach safety.  
He peeked around the corners in paranoia until he came to the most secluded, dark hallway he had been able to find in Hogwarts. He only allowed himself a dim light from his wand as he dragged his hands along the wall. He passed dozens of velvety curtains and cloth that were in place to cover old paintings and furniture. They all moved softly beneath his gentle touch as he passed by until he finally came to the tall curtains that felt as solid as stone beneath his fingertips.  
He whispered the spell to return them to their natural state and pulled them away to reveal the large, cozy reading nook that he’d discovered some time ago. He took another look around him, pausing in terror for a moment when his mind tried to convince him a statue he’d seen time and again was a live person. He took a breath to steady himself and climbed up into the spacious, protective square before murmuring the petrifying spell onto the fabric once again, blissfully sealing himself into the wall with only a thin crack many yards above him where the curtains were secured to the rod.  
He cast a thorough silencing charm on the entire area as he settled down into the pillows and covers that he’d lined the space with. He let out a long, shaky sigh before lighting a large candle in the corner so that he could put his wand to the side.  
He wondered who had been trying to get to him this time. He knew that Potter had opted to stay at the school for once, though he wasn’t quite sure why. He shivered as he imagined how Potter would react if Lily betrayed the Slytherin and told him about their last interaction. She might be fooled into thinking James had a good heart, but Lily hadn’t witnessed Potter’s obvious inner struggle before he’d finally decided to spare him from being eaten alive by his werewolf friend. He’d also neglected to mention that her boyfriend had pretended to rescue him yet again only to turn around and molest him personally.  
Severus left the new diary in his bag in favor of withdrawing his own journal and the latest advanced potions research he’d been cleared to indulge in sense he’d already tested out of all the potions classes Hogwarts had to offer. He jotted a few notes in his journal and smiled wickedly at some of his past discoveries. Then he placed it to the side near his wand and switched to becoming lost in his potions work.  
He had been marking notes, answers, and thoughts in his potions book for some time before he was unexpectedly interrupted. His entire being froze when he heard the familiar voice of his worst enemy speaking to him in a low, almost casual tone.  
“You know, you’re much sicker than I thought.” James hummed as he turned another page of the Slytherin’s journal.  
Severus looked up to see the shadows of the candlelight dancing along the seeker’s form as he sat with his back reclined against the pillows lining the wall opposite from him. His eyes darted to his side in search of a method of defense with the realization that James was thumbing through his most intimate thoughts. His anxieties were confirmed when he found that his wand was no longer there.  
His attention was brought back to his enemy when James stretched his legs leisurely and their bare ankles touched on one side. He closed his eyes to keep from falling apart as he tried to understand how Potter had managed to find him, break past his spells, disarm him, and then kick his shoes off and relax for an extended amount of time while browsing through Severus’ journal right in front of him.  
Everything he’d done to hide and protect himself had suddenly become his own demise. He had told no one of his hiding place, not even Lucius. He had taken such great lengths to borrow deep and detour curious wonderers. Now there was no question that his spells to keep him safely concealed, no matter how loud his nightmares made him scream, were only going to work to Potter’s advantage. The horrific possibilities were endless. Severus couldn’t force the image from his mind of James leaving him wandless behind the stone, beaten and broken. There was no telling how long it would take for him to finally die.  
James didn’t look up from the pages in his lap as he whispered, “I believe you’re forgetting to breath, Severus.”  
The Slytherin sucked in a desperate breath when he realized his words had been correct. He commanded his own heels to stop digging into the covers beneath him in an attempt to push himself further back against the opposite wall.  
“What do you want, Potter?” His pride was encouraged when he managed not to stutter, but he noted that he needed to force more venom into his annoyed tone. He opened his eyes slowly.  
James held up a hand to indicate he intended to finish reading the last of the current page before answering him. By the time he looked up to meet his eyes Severus’ mouth had dried out completely.  
“You do realize-” James began. His eyes flickered down to Severus’ exposed arm and back up to his eyes. “-that there is plenty enough evidence here to make a case for putting you in Azkaban.”  
Severus’ eyes darted around the small enclosure for any means of escape, and this caused the Gryffindor to continue.  
“Your intentions in here are pretty clear, not to mention how many times mine and Lily’s names are repeated in here. My father’s defense team would drool at such clear stated evidence of guilt.” He waved the journal at the Slytherin who was now on his knees and pounding his fists against the solid curtains. He stilled when James added, “And your actions right now make me feel like the only reason you haven’t moved to kill me yet is that you’re unarmed.” He thought for a moment as he watched the Slytherin’s shoulders rise and fall in trepidation as he rested his forehead against the stone. “Is that what you want?”  
Severus was making a mental note to erase all evidence from his journal and the names that would indeed work to incriminate him. He was still holding out hope that he would find a way out of his situation, and it took Severus several moments to realize that James was truly waiting for him to answer. “You’ve said many things, Potter. Perhaps you should be more specific in your line of questioning. Do you mean to ask if I desire to be unarmed in the presence of a spoiled, arrogant, bored, trouble maker? Because the answer to that is obviously no. I do not.”  
James chuckled confidently. “Alright then.” Severus flinched when James pointed a wand at him only to realize a few seconds later that he was handing him back his wand. “Go on then, Death Eater.”  
The obvious challenge extended to him caused him to both fear and loath the aforementioned arrogance that the seeker was so shameless in unleashing on him when he added a slight grin to his offer. Severus commanded his hand not to shake as he accepted his wand. James’ body language remained casual and collected as he continued to lean back against the wall. Severus mirrored his posture, only a little more stiffly, when he sank back into his own place.  
“Lily has been pretty distant lately.” James’ eyes finally clouded a little more soberly. “Can you think of anything that may have upset her?” He asked through a clenched jaw behind lips that never faltered in their mischievous smirk.  
Severus held his intense gaze for an achingly long time before he finally forced his hateful words towards his rival. He didn’t move as he growled, “I don’t know what could be upsetting your mudblood whore, Potter. Maybe she’s afraid you’ll make her hand-wash dishes with your house elves once you tire of her.”  
The seeker’s eyes sparkled unreadably and Severus banished every trace of his own emotions in response. The Slytherin summoned every ounce of hate and courage he could muster to put force behind his upcoming attack, but he kept it hidden behind the thick gloss of his black orbs. He wanted to tell Potter that he was going to kill him because he’d taken everything important from him. He wanted to rant to him about how he was going to prevail and his thirst for revenge would be quenched, but these were the kind of things that gave opponents an advantage on a clumsy, emotional creature.  
Severus hoped he had an unfair advantage because of his practice with silent magic to hide his talents in his muggle upbringing. All he needed was to convince himself that Lily would find something else to cling to after Potter was gone, and that she wouldn’t hate him for the rest of eternity if she managed to discover that Potter had fallen at his hands.  
This last thought snuck up on him after he had already jerked his arm forward in the critical motions of his attack. The fraction of a heartbeat that his hesitation had caused him as he switched the killing curse with a clipped, “Stupefy,” was all it took for Potter to gain the upper hand in his own defense with his ridiculously responsive seeker reflexes.  
“James, wait!” His own words had drowned out the simple disarming spell that James had countered with, and the Slytherin covered his head with his arms as he waited for the merciless effects of whatever his enemy had done to him to begin. He cursed himself for trembling so completely, and he berated himself for finding nothing more creative than a simple ‘stupefy’ to fall back on in his confusion.  
Once the Slytherin realized that the seeker was doing nothing to him other than tapping his finger absently against Severus’ confiscated wand, he shifted to cursing himself for his own cowardice. He finally allowed his overwhelming emotions to pour from his eyes as he surrendered to the sobs he’d been so desperately containing.  
“Stupefy?” The way James arched his brow critically would normally have caused the pale young man to launch himself at the larger Gryffindor and see how familiar he might be with muggle physical confrontations, but his hopeless situation left him feeling more humbled for every moment that he wasn’t being forced to scream in pain. James tucked Severus’ wand a safe distance out of his reach before shifting his attention back to study Severus’ suffering body language.  
“Why didn’t you kill me, James?” Severus sniffled in frustration, for the stupid Gryffindor could have ended his torment before he had a chance to reflect over his strange longing to stay alive despite his complete misery.  
“Say it again.” James rumbled in a threatening tone. He removed his glasses and set them to the side.  
Severus looked across at him incredulously. “What?” He frowned as he rubbed his face in his hands. “K-kill me?” He yelped in terror when James whipped his hands forward and grabbed a hold of his pale ankles. He tugged the Slytherin towards him roughly so that Severus found himself suddenly looking toward the ceiling. “N-no! Don’t kill me! That’s not what I was saying!” He began to hyperventilate as he felt the seeker shift so that he could force himself between his thighs. “I was ready before! I’m n-not...gods, p-please!”  
James’ wand was still in hand as he allowed himself to fall forward over his captive. He held himself above the Slytherin and waited patiently for him to return from whatever happy place he’d retreated to in his mind. He leaned in closer to discover where the pupils of his dark eyes ended and the rest began.  
James hummed pleasantly when the eyes below him finally began to focus once more. Severus swallowed heavily when the seeker tilted his head dangerously and clarified, “No. My name.” He licked his lips.  
“Y-your name?” The thin body shuddered in response to the Maurader’s unpredictable behavior. “J-James?” He tested.  
A wicked grin melted across his mouth. Severus had never expected to see such a threatening display of approval from anyone outside of the Slytherin house. The seeker pushed himself to stand on his knees and directed his wand to the body below him.  
A whine forced it’s way from the Slytherin’s throat as the seeker focused his attention on him too completely. Severus tried to sit up, but the larger young man only clasped onto one of his legs firmly and tugged so that he was forced again onto his back.  
“Please...James...” He whispered again. He searched his features when his words caused the sturdy arm to falter slightly and his lids to lower halfway. Severus gulped as the seeker’s fingers tightened on his leg.  
James seemed to fall into the same distant trance that Severus had witnessed from him during his inner struggles when he was trying to decide whether or not to rescue him from Lupin. Then all at once he leaned forward and hooked his fingers around the waist band of the Slytherin’s pants, yanking them down his body and tossing them to the side in one swift motion. His quick, almost violent motions caused the raven-haired boy to begin searching for any way out of his situation.  
“Jamesjamesjamesjamesjames sweet Merlin please James...” He chanted quietly, for he couldn’t force his terrified vocal chords to rasp louder than a whisper. Severus’ eyes widened dramatically when he heard James clearly mumble an erotic charm that he had no idea how a Gryffindor could possibly be privy too. His mouth fell open in shock with the realization that the muscles on the insides of his nether regions were relaxing and lubricating accordingly. He was distracted from his current situation by the desperate curiosity as to how and why James knew of a spell that was commonly used on a woman’s back-side during three-way sexual encounters. He couldn’t stop himself from voicing his concerns. “James? W-why do you know it? W-why do you-”  
James smiled as he tossed his shirt to the side and leaned down, pressing Severus’ shirt up to his neck and gliding his tongue up his bruised chest. The pale flesh tensed and shivered under his touch. “You know that Lily is a good girl. Severus.” He gave too much tenderness when he spoke the Slytherin’s name while comforting him. “I haven’t been sharing her with anyone, if that’s what you’re asking. Why aren’t you more concerned about why I’m using the spell on you right now?” He pressed the aching bulge in his pants down against the body beneath him and they both groaned at the contact.  
Severus wasn’t sure why he was responding so wantonly, but he sighed in relief that his enemy had for some reason chosen to humanely spell him into painless preparation. It wasn’t something he would have predicted from any of his tormentors. He realized that his panic over James’ now obvious intentions was delayed simply because the Maurader had yet to remove his own pants.  
“J-James?” He stammered as the seeker rolled his hips against him again and latched onto one of his nipples.  
“Mm?” James murmured as he pushed himself up once again. He reached for the fastenings of his pants while keeping his eyes locked on Severus’ dark orbs.  
Severus propped himself up onto his elbows. “Are you going to report me to-”  
“No.” He interrupted simply as he pushed the rest of his clothing away and pulled Severus to sit up so that he could remove his shirt completely.  
Severus thought about asking him why, but he wasn’t at all sure that James wasn’t simply lying to him, or even that his reasons for secrecy were going to be obviously dependant upon the Slytherin’s current cooperation. Things were actually moving much more smoothly than the Slytherin would have predicted if he’d been cornered in the Slytherin common rooms, other than the fact his current attacker was his most hated foe. He banished his own expectations and decided his best bet was going to be to go along with whatever the mistakenly sorted sadist Gryffindor wanted from him. When James released him he moved to turn onto his hands and knees, but the Maurader stopped him by grasping a hold of his legs once again and yanking him back into their former position.  
“W-why?” The question finally erupted from his lungs without his consent when the seeker grabbed a firm hold of his hips and positioned himself to take him. All of his inquiries were lost to his swimming mind, however, when James slid into him and immediately worked to angel himself properly for the Slytherin’s pleasure.  
Severus moaned shamelessly and his eyes rolled back in euphoria. His hands reached out for anything to hold onto as the unfamiliar sensation of pleasure hijacked his every thought.  
James lowered himself into the reach of his searching hands and tucked his arms under the Slytherin’s arching back to pull their bodies so close together that it was hard to move at all. He pressed their cheeks together so that they could each hear every noise that they caused one another to make. He nestled himself into him deeply but stilled as he felt his release approaching too quickly. Then he reached between them to grasp the Slytherin’s length in his hand, and he was rewarded with a very vocal slew of moans and senseless pleas.  
“James...I don’t understand...I d-don’t understand...” He quaked violently and clutched onto the large body above him as the sensation of falling began to threaten his sanity.  
“I dream of you saying my name, Severus.” The Maurader groaned right against his ear. The warm air and the sound of his lust-drenched voice caused him to call out helplessly. “I dream of you begging for me.”  
“P-please...” He complied immediately, no longer in control of his own reactions.  
“Please what? What do you want?” He felt the seeker smile against his jaw.  
“I-I don’t know...” Severus sobbed pitifully. “J-just please...please...everything, James.” He clutched onto him more tightly. “Please stop hurting me. P-please don’t see to it that I’m im-imprisoned. D-don’t...please don’t t-take her from me. And gods, James, don’t s-stop, ah, don’t stop-” His entire body began to convulse as the seeker stroked and thrusted him to completion.  
James’ arms shook as he followed him into contentment when his warm body clenched around him as if joining him in his pleas. When he had nothing more to give he shifted his body to gaze down at him. Severus wasn’t sure if his frown was meant to intimidate him or if he was simply squinting with the absence of his glasses.  
The pale boy closed his eyes fearfully when James lifted his hand to trail his fingers along the bruise on the Slytherin’s face. When he realized he was still hanging onto the seeker’s body he dropped his hands to his sides to tangle in the blankets beneath them. His lids fluttered open when he realized his hand was resting on James’ forgotten wand. He released it thoughtlessly when he was met with the intensity of the Maurader’s eyes trained on him so completely without the barrier of his glasses between them. James bent his knees to support more of his own weight and make it easier for the smaller body beneath him to catch his breath. The raven-haired boy jerked when James suddenly clasped Severus’ face in his hands.  
The Slytherin wasn’t prepared for the intimacy of the consuming, deep kiss that the seeker mercilessly forced on him next, but it wasn’t long before he was writhing and moaning beneath him as he surrendered to the cruel illusion in his heart of being adored.  
James pulled away and pressed his hand against one of the bruises on Severus’ pale chest. “You’ll tell me who did this.” James murmured darkly, frightening him further.  
Severus nodded his agreement as he shifted under the discomfort of pressure on his wound. “Y-you did.”  
“And this one.”  
Severus flinched at the change in location of his pain. “You did. You!” He gasped when James moved to a bruise surrounding a long, thin cut, running his thumb lightly along the wound, before moving to the next. Severus swallowed a humiliating whine with his next confirmation that James had caused the marks on him, for only then did he realize that James wasn’t scouting out the bruises before touching them. He had yet to look away from Severus’ eyes. He wondered how James could possibly know about every mark on his body.  
“That’s exactly what I had expected you to say.” The seeker growled as his hand moved to a fresh purpled bruise across Severus’ ribcage.  
James was making an expression darkened with more loathing than the Slytherin had ever witnessed from him in all their years at Hogwarts. He shivered completely as his heart told him that Lily must finally have sent the young man to kill him.  
“And this one. Where did it come from?” James froze when the name that tumbled from Severus’ lips confirmed that the seeker had not been the one to leave the large mark. “Is he in Slytherin?” He frowned at the unfamiliar name.  
“N-no. He’s been allowed to v-visit one of the Slytherins for this holiday break. It was arranged because-”  
“Who is he visiting?” James asked shortly, shifting his gaze to the stone above Severus’ head as if he was scanning through an invisible student directory in his mind. When Severus told him the name of the average student, he whipped his attention back down to him with too much interest. “Do you know either of them?”  
“No.”  
“Do you like them?”  
“I don’t like anyone. Accept perhaps maybe Lucius.”  
“Malfoy?” James scoffed, but seemed to take note of this. Severus’ eyes widened as he realized he had just offered up the name of his only friend. Potter had already taken his peace of mind, was working furiously at taking the woman he loved, and now his dignity and possibly his freedom. Was his new plan not to leave him here to die or have him sent to Azkaban, but instead to humiliate him this way and then turn to destroying any friendships or possible hopes for his future financial security or rest?  
“Uh, n-no...a different Lucius that lives near-”  
“Don’t lie.” James spoke simply.  
“Yes. Malfoy. D-don’t-”  
“I won’t. Now, this one. This scar. It’s older, yes?” He tugged Severus’ arm up over their heads and trailed his finger down a light scar above his elbow that was several inches long. “From over this last summer. What happened?”  
It was hard for the pale young man to pinpoint any obvious motive for the Gryffindor to be so curious. He stammered for a long time as he tried to ignore how easily James could erase all emotion from his voice as if he’d been trained by a Slytherin. He could only assume that since Sirius was his best friend, and that Black was probably only in Gryffindor to upset his Slytherin soaked family leniage and piss off his parents, that Sirius must be the culprit of these learned characteristics. That, or James was meant for Slytherin and confidently and masterfully crafted his way right into the house he knew his father would be pleased with; fooling everyone in Hogwarts.  
“Um...” Severus’ breathing hastened when he realized the seeker was still waiting for him to answer, void of all expression. “M-my father.”  
“Do you like your father?”  
“Why do you always ask me if I like the people that obviously hurt me?!” Severus snapped angrily as his anxieties overtook his reason.  
James didn’t flinch at his outburst. Instead he tilted his head and calmly asked, “What happens shortly after you tell me who’s hurt you?”  
Severus opened his mouth to snap at him again, but as his mind filed down through the list of names that James had forced from him over time, he hesitated for a long moment. The color drained from his face as his confusion increased. “Th-they stop.”  
“Or they hurt you one more time, and only one more time.”  
Before they disappear. Severus finished in his mind, and his trembling stopped for a moment as a surge of security ran through him. Then his rational returned as he realized the horrible potential of the wizard above him, and he began quaking once again. Whether it was simply his wealthy societal influence and ability to place pawns, or if James was some kind of cold blooded murder with the perfect cunning to get away with his crimes, he didn’t know. Perhaps it was both.  
“It isn’t about l-liking him. I c-currently still n-need my f-father. F-financially.” Severus hated how the Gryffindor had a way of manipulating every embarrassing detail from his broken life.  
“Yes, but if that wasn’t so? If you didn’t need him financially? If he had a will in your name?”  
A will? So it’s murder, then. “He isn’t worth enough. There’d be nothing to keep me in school-”  
“If he was lying? If there was plenty?” James pressed as a tiny, wicked smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, clashing with eyes that held no humor. He repeated his next words as if all of the conversation between them since he last asked his question had never happened. “Do you like your father?”  
Severus stared above him with wide eyes. He wasn’t at all sure what game the seeker was playing with him this time, and he was simply too confounded and tired to try and make any more sense out of his situation.  
“Potter, what more do you want from me? You’ve got everything you need to destroy me, and, from the feel of you prodding against me down there, you’re not even finished conquering me at this present moment. Must you work through your future schemes so far in advance?” The seeker only tilted his head as he studied him. After a long moment of silence the pale boy continued in frustration. “Have you nothing better to do than obsess over manipulating my physical and emotional conditions at every moment?”  
James enjoyed the whimper that escaped him when he leaned in a few inches and answered with perfect annunciation and piercing eye contact. “No.” Then he groaned when his short, firm statement caused the hips below him to thrust up seeking more contact.  
Severus finally tired of James attempts to break his heart more completely than he’d already managed to do. His clever mind was shorting out in his attempt to see what he knew should be a simple explanation to the Gryffindor’s games. He’d had enough of the beautiful, beloved James Potter manipulating him. Things had now gone far enough that James was introducing hopes to him so that he could destroy them, and if that wasn’t bad enough he’d somehow managed to get Severus not only beneath him naked, but writhing with lust and longing to be fucked by him again.  
Severus focused with all his strength and was finally able to break through James’ guarded mind with his beginning level of self-taught legilimency. He didn’t brace himself for the level of which it would work for him on only his third try of trespassing into someone’s thoughts. All at once he was bombarded with images of himself and emotions of jealousy and rage for anyone that had ever wronged him. James’ face was calm and collected on the surface, and his body language was perfectly controlled, but inside him there was more passion, ill-intent, and love than Severus ever could have imagined, and at that moment every ounce of the seeker’s affection was trained completely, almost worshipfully, on Severus.  
The Slytherin gaped at him as James narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but whether or not he’d felt him inside his mind, he chose not to say.  
Severus worked to calm himself and slowly his features softened. He finally managed to regain the composure he’d lost just after realizing that James had broken into his personal hiding place. “You’ve killed, Potter?” Severus purred judgmentally, but James didn’t look the slightest bit ashamed.  
“Maybe a rapist or two.”  
“And how, pray tell, can you be sure of the guilt of said rapists?” He blinked serenely.  
“I’ve only had to trust me and you about their guilt.”  
“Someone hurt you?” Severus droned, but he was surprised to hear a tinge of disapproval in his own voice, betraying the unexplained rage he felt inside in response to this concept. After all, he’d rejoiced every time he’d heard of Potter getting hurt on the Quittich field.  
“They won’t anymore.” James assured him with cold, empty eyes. The Slytherin shivered again as the larger young man showed no signs of compassion. He was worrying for Lily’s safety when James added, “Don’t tell Lily, though.” His features softened lightly. “I don’t want her to be afraid to choose you if that’s what would make her happier. I’ve only wanted you to be afraid to encourage her.”  
“Lily does not love me, Potter. It is unrequited.” He explained dryly.  
“Yeah.” James chuckled. “If you say so. Are you judging me for murder? Because I happen to know that a common right of passage for Deatheaters is to murder someone to prove loyalty.”  
“I didn’t say that I was judging you, Potter. If what you say is true, it would appear that some of those shortened lives are on my head. Tell me, James,” The larger young man exhaled a little too quickly at the mention of his name, “are you willing to do it again? Twice?”  
“Yes.”  
“With me. And to help me be immune to the consequences as you somehow seem to be in your guilt-free condition?”  
“With you. Only with you, and I can most definitely afford to buy legal blinding for the both of us.”  
“Can you keep a secret from your arrogant, idiot friends? And Lily?” Severus’ eyes glossed over as he gently spoke Lily’s name, for what he was about to ask was one of the very reasons she began to turn away from him; his interest in the Dark Arts.  
“I have a lot of secrets from them, but only a few from Lily, and I think our secrets from her are much the same. The only difference there is that I’ve managed to keep my secrets safe from everyone else. So, you’ve found a way to effect a Horcrux, eh?”  
Severus gasped and tried to sit up as James nabbed the information and explanation from his mind. “Legilimancy...y-you? I...it’s...”  
“I like to watch your dreams of Lily at night. She’s more beautiful in your mind even than she is in real life, and that’s saying something.” His voice was still eerily calm, even as he pushed his weight on the smaller boy’s arms to hold him in place.  
“I’m going to die...” Severus fretted as he continued to struggle.  
“No, no. We’re talking now about other people that are going to die, remember? Ones that deserve it? I don’t kill them if I don’t think they do.”  
“You’re arrogant, Potter, to think you can decide who lives or dies!”  
“Oh, come off it. You were just about to scribble a couple names onto the list. Why are you backing out now? Severus.” Hearing his name stated so casually at the end of James’ words caused the Slytherin to stop and shift his eyes back up to his.  
The seeker was now obviously a crazy sociopath in the Slytherin’s mind, capable of planting whatever images he’d like into his victim’s minds to manipulate them. If he didn’t kill Severus right then, there must be a reason. It’s because he knows about my studies on the horcrux. He read it from me. And if he doesn’t kill me after we accomplish those spells, then he’ll kill me the next time he finds me in one of these situations. And if he doesn’t get a chance before we graduate, he’ll hunt me down and kill me to insure that Lily doesn’t run away with me. In his mind she’s in love with me. He’s mad! Completely mad! And if I manage to hide he’ll simply find a way to reveal my guilt for one thing or another and see me imprisoned or killed later!  
“I don’t want to die, James...”  
“Never. You should never have to. Hell, eventually we’ll hold Evans down and make her live forever with us. Why should evil overlords that boast about these things have all the benefits when those of us with discretion and simple longings can sail off into the sunset with carefully placed pawns? We’re in a war, here. At the end of this school year we’ll all be expected to bravely die, for a master or for a master disguised as a fabled civilized society. That or sneak away like selfish cowards. Why not do them both, if you’ve found a way? No one has to know.”  
“I more of meant th-that I don’t want you t-to kill me...” Severus had stopped struggling, having realized rather quickly that he was accomplishing nothing accept tiring himself out.  
“I won’t kill you. Even if you’re a rapist. Why would you think I would?” When Severus only stared at him, baffled, the seeker leaned down and kissed him again mercilessly. He used the Slytherin’s distraction, and then his arousal, to search through his mind unguarded.  
James pressed their bodies together and Severus quickly responded with a muffled groan into the Gryffindor’s mouth. He began to rock above him obscenely so that his stiffened length was continuously stimulated between their bodies, and he pulled away from his mouth to hear the Slytherin’s lovely mewling and panting noises as he rapidly lost control of his vocal chords.  
“You’re so responsive.” James hummed. “You know, I can easily see why you’d have the impression I’m a lunatic, and I can even understand why you think I’d want to end your life. I’d spend more t-TIME-” James yelped after he released one of Severus’ arms and the Slytherin immediately crammed his hand between them to begin stroking him. “Ah-I’d spend m-more time comforting you, but, hah, your fear is just so fucking hot.” He grabbed his wand and moaned when Severus cringed before the seeker only mumbled another erotic charm.  
“See?” He eased inside him and groaned loudly when Severus wrapped his arms around him tightly. “Why would I reassure you when your confusion causes you to cling to me so-ohgod...ohgod don’t stop doing that...” He became distracted when Severus defiantly let go of him and braced his hands on the wall above their heads, pressing himself down against him roughly in time with his thrusts. “Okay, so maybe it’s...good...when you’re...not scared...too...” His breath was becoming too labored to speak properly. “I’m not...going to kill you...I promise...fuck....” He cursed when the pale body relaxed a little more and his legs parted a little wider so that he slid even deeper into him with each thrust. “I’m not...going to...hurt you...” He was rewarded when Severus removed one hand from the wall and drifted it down to his nipple. “I...like you...a lot...I like you...Love you even...”  
Severus’ eyelids flew open at these words and his hand braced back against the wall with James’ increased rhythm along with his confession.  
“Why’d you tense...back..up? I’m so close...” He warned. “How did I...scare you...now? Because I love you? Ah...fuck yeah...” James halted completely and pressed a large hand firmly down onto the Slytherin’s chest to force him to still. “Wait...I didn’t know it was possible to clench that much with this spell. Why?” He asked as he bent his knees once more so that he could use both hands to move along Severus’ body. He began to move inside him more slowly. Then he continued his investigation again when Severus seemed unaware. “I love you? Yeah, that’s what did it.” James affirmed with a pleased growl.  
Severus was frightened to realize his heart was believing every word that rolled from James’ lips.  
“Don’t fight it, Deatheater. Go with it. Do you hate the thought of me caring for you? That what it is?” James cleared his expression until a smirk appeared when Severus shook his head ‘no’ after a hesitated reflection. “You want to be loved?” James commanded his features from molding into compassion when the tears began to flow down the Slytherin’s cheeks, for he didn’t want him to confuse his expressions with pity. He slowly nodded ‘yes’. “Then why are you sad?” He reached down and began to stroke him off firmly, causing Severus’ legs to shudder. “You don’t believe me?”  
“N-no...” Severus whispered as he stared above him toward the ceiling and tried to force detachment. He was thwarted from this when James began to push more vigorously into him and leaned down over him so that he could see into his eyes.  
“Then pretend you believe me, just for a few minutes. Trust me for as long as it takes for you to blow all over the both of us.”  
Severus’ eyes rolled back in his head at the dirty talk and his arms began again to seek out something to hang onto. James snorted as he looked to the side to observe this. “I’m right here. I’m what’ll keep you from falling,” he informed him as he guided his hands back toward his body. “Hold on h-here...” He faltered when Severus finally surrendered and clasped onto him desperately. He leaned up, buried his face in his neck, and began to call out in a mixture of blinding pleasure and the temporary hope he finally allowed himself to feel for once in his lifetime.  
James pulled him up into his lap and he rocked back into a sitting position. Severus wrapped his legs around him, and the seeker felt him tightening around his body from every angle. James had never felt so needed or so completely enjoyed and it wasn’t long before he was babbling incoherently while trying to answer all of Severus’ unguarded questions that were pouring from his lips and from his mind. In the end he wound up chanting a mixture of, “I love you,” and “I promise,” until Severus became so tightly coiled with him that it was impossible for them to get any closer, or even to move at all. It was during these few last seconds of stillness, however, that they both emptied themselves completely for one another; physically and emotionally.  
James lowered the Slytherin slowly back onto the pillows at the same rate that his body began to relax. “If anything is clear here, it’s that we both have a lot of secrets.” James breathed heavily as he looked down at the drained Deatheater. “I’ll keep yours, and you keep mine. Deal?” Severus shook his head in agreement lethargically.  
They took their time untangling and eventually pulled on their clothing. Then James finally turned to him and referred to their earlier conversations. “Let me know if you’re serious about sacrificing people to infuse our souls with inanimate objects and making them and us indestructible and all.”  
The Slytherin, now with his clothing back in place and James sitting across from him once again, was much more capable of holding his apathetic composure. “I don’t remember putting that much detail into it, Potter.”  
“Just the same.” James stretched. “And also: Do you like your father?” His voice and demeanor molded back into the same annoying, simple, rude curiosity that was now making Severus’ heart thud more quickly with a couple feelings other than loathing.  
Severus arched a single eyebrow in the same way that he used to express every emotion across the spectrum of what he was able to feel. His eyes sparkled with the newfound knowledge of what his answer could mean, whether that be his own death and demise, or his salvation and success. Then he answered him without inflection. “No. I do not.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a stand alone story that is intended to eventually be part of a series to rewrite the HP ending for Severus lovers that know better than to believe things went down the way they seemed. If you want to read them in order, this is the second story, and Torture: You're Doing it Wrong is the first. Be forwarned: I'm obsessed with fear and pwp. I can't help but to have ample begging and trembling in my fics!


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